There's always something to argue about when it comes to relationships. That
goes for grandchildren, too. Children are people, and grandchildren are very
precious people whom you want to enjoy and adore without pain. That means avoiding
arguments with them and learning to pick your fighting points very carefully,
because little children are a force to be reckoned with. These are the danger
spots to skirt around: food, clothing and bedtime.
My grandsons are now 8 and 10 years old. You would think they are old enough
to experiment with foods that have the color green about them. Somehow that's
the color of doom for them. This makes it quite difficult when we go to an Italian
restaurant, since they adore pasta with red sauce. As we know, any decent red
sauce will invariable include basil as one of its ingredients. Well, here at
our house I can take the basil and blend it into the tomato sauce without them
realizing it. But restaurants have their pride and no little person is going
to make a chef ashamed of a long tradition of basil in his red sauce. Thus when
the dish comes to the table with green "stuff" included, the wise
grandparents escape to the bathroom while the grandchildren engage in a fishing
expedition to rid their food of unwanted bits of green.
Clothing can be a fighting point as well. It's an amazing fact of life that
children understand fashion as soon as they begin attending school. This is
not just a female trait. Boys are as fussy _ if not more so _ than girls when
it comes to their clothing.
Last year my older grandson wanted to have a bathrobe to wear around "just
like grandpa's." Somehow clothing, like bathrobes for boys, are not popular
garments with manufacturers of children's clothes. So I offered to sew one for
him. We were in the fabric store for more than an hour while he picked out the
color and type of fabric and trim he wanted.
Then there's the battle of the popular style: sloppy! Grandparents desire to
have neatly dressed youngsters to show off to all the world. This means suggesting
to a young feller, "How about a pair of loafers to go with your dress pants,
darling?"
"But, I've got shoes, grandma!"
He thinks sneakers are shoes. This is what this world is coming to: comfort
is king. No corns on this generation's toes. But they'll never look spiffy either.
On the other hand I don't have to nag them to shine their shoes.
In fact, arguing with grandchildren is a losing battle. Eventually, they always
win because they wear you down. Grandchildren are for fun, not to entice us
back into the parenting mode.
Just last night as the hour hand on the clock crept up toward ten, I came to
understand a new reality about my role as grandparent. After several unsuccessful
attempts to get them to bed I gave up and decided to go with the flow.
"In a second, grandma," the oldest had kept saying with a wave of
his hand each time I stood frustrated in the doorway of my office watching the
two boys playing intently with their latest CD game I had bought for them earlier
in the day. I finally began to think: I bought this game for them to play with
and enjoy. This is their vacation time. They don't have to get up early in the
morning and that is good for tired grandparents. They are behaving well and
are in no danger. Why fight with them about something as foolish as time? Thus,
I have created this grandparent's motto _ don't fight, relax and enjoy instead.
Copyright Scripps Howard News Service 2003
Photo Copyright Getty Images
