One out of two marriages in the U-S ends in divorce these days. Research suggests that children of divorce are not as well off as those who grow up in intact families. This can manifest itself in anything from depression to suicide to being expelled from, or dropping out of, school. Even months or years after a divorce, many children are still hoping their parents will get back together. Children sometimes will blame themselves for the divorce and feel they're not worthy of love, or they may fear that the parent who leaves won't be their parent any more. They may react in various ways, ranging from having bad dreams and weeping to aggressiveness and poor school work. Parents, in turn, may react by being too permissive or buying children material things to try to compensate. The best approach is to be honest about your feelings, but make a special effort to be loving and reassuring. Concentrate on the child's needs, rather than just your own. Your child needs to feel that both parents care, even the non-custodial one. Try to have an amicable relationship with your ex-spouse, for the child's sake. If a child's behavior continues to be disturbed, ask a physician for advice. If you haven't yet divorced, unless you're the victim of physical abuse, adultery, or drug use by your spouse, keep in mind that experts say the changes that follow divorce are usually more difficult for a child to cope with than anything the child experienced during the marriage, even parental conflict and unhappiness.
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