SHARE YOURS: Craziest 'calling in sick' excuses

gilly1041, I'm just generalizing from my experience. Seems the few times I have to visit a post office, the employees move like snails while people stand in line seemingly forever. Then there are the many over the years that have been caught opening mail to steal checks and other property. Then there is the postal union which has essentially bankrupt the organization through demanding gold plated pay, benefits and retirements. I'm sure a lot of honorable people have worked there, but the institution is a typical bloated government bureaucracy that is no longer relevant. Private companies could do the job more effeciently and less expensively and probably wouldn't tolerate slugs calling in sick so they can watch football games. They could actually fire such bums instead of go through a lengthy government grievance process....p.s. and I hate it when the lazy delivery person in the little truck doesn't have the courtesy to close the mailbox door after putting the mail in. But not all of them are this way.

So, Batlover, not only did you tell a lie, which is a sin, you stole money from the Post Office, which belongs to the taxpayers of America, just so you could sit home and watch a ballgame. You probably don't read the Bible, but I'll bet you have a good idea what you did wrong. Stealing is an unforgivable sin because it violates the Commandments. You might think it's funny now, but you'll think differently when God and Jesus get hold of you.

@ ABC123: My father was retired from the airforce when he joined the postal service. He busted his A#$ everyday, including weekends when they are closed. So how dare you generalize all of the employees to your pathetic standard.

We had a possum under our shed once in Navy housing. They told us to use a live trap which they provided. We set it up and the next morning we had caught a skunk! After calling everyone we could think of, who wouldn't even come out to check it out. My husband called in with the excuse "We have a skunk in a live trap, and can't find anyone to help us release it".

BatLover sounds like a typical postal employee. Draw that paycheck for doing almost nothing and abuse the system. That's why USPS is bankrupt and is going the way of the dinosaur.

Up yours, Dodie. I worked for the post office for more than 25 years and I called in sick every year on the day of the Army/Navy game. Didn't bother me a bit.

Whether your boss falls for it or not, the Lord knows the truth. Telling lies is a sin, and liars are punished severely for their transgression. Not wanting to go to work is just sloth, and it is no reason for telling lies. If the only way you can get a day off work is to lie, then you need to go to work. Honesty is the ONLY policy!

@CY, that's an old one, but still hysterical!!!

My submarine sunk and a shark ate my homework.

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown. The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially the new acquisition was no problem, but one morning I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Ed! the garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it." You know where the button is." I protested through the shower (pitter- patter). "Reset it yourself!" "I am scared!" She pleaded. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" (Pause) "C'mon, it'll only take a second." So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without consequence. I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances. Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. Now when men feel pain or even sense danger anywhere close to their masculine region, they lose all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements. Instinctively, their nerves compel the body to contort inwardly, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed. Not even a well trained monk could calmly stand with his groin supporting the ful